2010
Tell Him you like him. Tell him you want to be with him and that you’re mature now. You are ready. Truly. Watch the fair lights far below you and know that down there, somewhere, stands his sister. Looking up in despair and hate. Step off the ride hand in hand and look at the world in a new light. Perhaps this is life after all. He holds you tight and you wish, you wish you wanted to hold him as well. Announce to the world that you are together again. Smile wide, beaming and gleaming as bright as a star, and just as misunderstood. Watch in despair as she runs from you, tears streaking down her cheeks, and pretend to ignore the shimmer of defeat that rises in your own eyes. You will not break his heart. You will not break his heart.
Eight days later look shamefully towards your feet and murmur that you are never ready. Feel the shame deep deep down in the pit of your stomach. Feel the guilt settle within the confines on your soul and dream of the day you can look him in the eyes again.
